I was ready to be excited when I heard we were getting a new Jaws game. Past video games based on the classic ‘70s shark attack film have been great. Even that short-lived mobile Jaws game. Even if this new game is just in Roblox—a free-to-play online game built out of user-created maps and minigames—I was interested. But then I saw the first trailer and the faces…dear god the faces.
Announced on Tuesday, Jaws: Infested Waters is a Roblox-exclusive game—out now via a soft launch—based on the 1975 blockbuster film directed by Steven Spielberg. In a press release announcing the new project, Infested Waters is described as a “group survival adventure” with one player taking on the role of the shark and other players trying to stay alive as the predator hunts them down.
The human-like flesh upon their boxy heads is what I can’t handle. Why do these Roblox characters have realistic flesh, eyes, and skin? Who wants this? It’s awful to look at it.
According to developer Orange Comet and Universal Products, the upcoming Roblox experience is built around teamwork and forcing players to work together to survive as the shark tries to eat them all. Players will have to complete objectives and track down the dangerous predator to win and escape with their lives. And yes, the game will include elements of John Williams’ famous and iconic score. You know it. The one that goes “Dun…Dun…Dun…Dun…DUN…DUN…DUN…DUN!”
Why give them such large, distinct lips? They don’t look like lips on these blocky avatars, but instead look like flesh flaps moving around as if the creature has seen a human and is trying to imitate one. Or mock our very existence with its disgusting mimicry.
Jaws: Infested Waters is set to officially launch sometime next month. But the game seems to be playable today via a soft launch or beta period. Extra details found on the game’s official Roblox page indicate that you’ll be able to customize the shark and that there will be some kind of battle pass-like system for players to progress through and unlock new items.
I never want to close my eyes again for I fear that these digital fleshy blocks may appear. I’ll miss sleep. But never seeing these demonic beings is my only priority in life. Death will be such a sweet escape from Robolox’s version of Roy Scheider.
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